As much as I hate how it sounds when people declare this, I'm afraid I have to do it... I love my life right now. Like, really, really.
I am one of those people who always finds themselves taking care of someone and recently, I have decided to just take care of myself for a while... a one man wolf pack, if you will ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgTssbfJu3Y and it is working out brilliantly.
I love people and relationships and love but I feel you can enjoy all of those things so much more when you simply enjoy just being you and hanging out with yourself. These days I am doing just that: Meeting people, seeing and doing things completely on my own schedule.
I have been watching endless documentaries, listening to tons of new music, meeting new people, enjoying my incredible friends and family and spending a ton of time not being in a hurry to do anything. I think I am finally fulfilling one of my favorite quotes... " Freedom is not freedom from life, but rather freedom within it"... of course I want to travel and have my dream job, learn about everything and fall madly in love, but learning to love the moment you're in can almost be as savory and intense as having and enjoying any of those things.
I am annoyingly aware of my mortality which has given me the blessing/curse of constantly wanting to experience/see/do everything and ask for as much from my life as I can.... it has also dealt me the burden of constantly planning and waiting for the next thing and I am officially done living like that. I will travel every year, I always do. I will find my professional "calling" because I know myself well enough to know I will always be challenging myself to find it. I don't need to worry about it, I'm am just going to do it!
It's amazing how being genuinely happy attracts so many wonderful things into your life... new friends, experiences, opportunities... it's nice to just let things come to you instead of searching for it all the time. And during this time I have made two promises to myself:
As someone who will never stop looking for love (it's my favorite thing- what can I say?), I promise to only be with someone who will be my partner. Someone who has their own life, interests and passions so I can maintain autonomy and be with someone who is teaching me something new all the time. And I would love to do that for them. That's it- the only kind of relationship I want. If I find it- fantastic, if I don't- no worries.
I will stop making deadlines and rules for when and how I do things. If I want to pick up and leave the country for a year, I will do it and the great people in my life will stick around and the ones that are not as important will move on and that's just fine... I can't let anything hold me back... this is a very empowering feeling.
So, I hope my excitement about life and happiness has not left you nauseous and in case it has, I need to make this post worth-while to you. I will do this by leaving you with a list of documentaries you should be watching right now...
State of Mind
Very Young Girls
Religulous
Jesus Camp
Vice Guides to Liberia and North Korea
Food, Inc
Seoul Train
Wal-Mart: The High Cost of a Low Price
Deliver Us From Evil
Annnnnnnnnd scene!
